Letting go of the Vicious Cycle of Resentment

When it comes to dealing with other people, many of us find ourselves going back and forth between anger and fear. We constantly try to find quick fixes to soothe moments of blind rage and alleviate anxious thoughts. However, these “solutions” are usually nothing more than temporary fixes, which allow us to white knuckle it through one more day. Meanwhile, the root of the problem continues to fester and get worse until we can’t even bear to think about it anymore.

One of the reasons resentments are so hard to get rid of is because there is so much bad advice floating around out here on how to deal with them. This topic really resonated with me because I know the amount of hurt that goes behind this topic and the ongoing pain that doesn’t always get resolved. But before we begin to overcome resentments, we should know the following things:

1. It’s a process
2. It may get worse before it gets better
3. It requires a great deal of willingness and an open mind.

In order to move forward, we need to quit thinking in the past. Learning how to forgive is how we accomplish that goal. Forgiveness is probably one of the most difficult things to accomplish because be hold on to so much pain, however it definitely is possible to achieve. Ultimately, forgiveness is a natural resolution of overcoming the anger and fear process, which is the necessary acknowledgment of pain and loss in our lives. Forgiveness is totally up to us, and we have the power not to forgive someone if the relationship with that person is unhealthy for us and our well-being.