From Impulsive to Intentional
We’ve all had times where we’ve just acted on something, not even thinking about the consequences behind them. We’ve all created a goal to quit something, and at the blink of an eye totally went against what we said we weren’t going to do. Us as humans all experience these types of impulses. But while impulses are a normal part of being human, acting on those impulses isn’t always beneficial.
There’s a few ways we can change acting on something so quickly:
1. Build a practice of going slowly —If you want to be able to act differently when an impulse comes up, you have to be moving slowly enough to catch it. You have to recognize the impulse for what it is and think through what you want to do about it. Since impulsivity is all about immediacy, the trick to changing the impulsive behavior is to give yourself enough time to act differently.
2. Pay attention — Our attention is one of the greatest tools we possess. Whatever we pay attention to in a particular moment will shape our experience in that moment. Notice the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations that pass through you just before you reach for your pack and lighter. Once you start paying attention in this way, you’ll become more familiar with your impulses, which will help you respond to them differently.
3. Break it down — An impulse is just a thought, an emotion, a physical sensation, or a combination of the three. When you can see an impulse for what it is, you’ve got a better chance of pausing to examine it and let it go instead of giving in to it. This is where meditation can be incorporated.
4. Find Balance — Managing your impulses doesn’t mean suppressing or denying what you’re experiencing. It’s not about limiting your options. Learning to manage your impulses is all about improving your ability to choose and expanding your options for what to do when the impulse arises. Instead of automatically giving in to the urge to pour a second glass of wine or eat that last piece of cake, you can acknowledge the urge, sit with it, and thoughtfully decide what you want to do about it.
5. Become a goal-setter — Create goals and come up with small, measurable steps to take along the way to achieving them. This will help you practice staying focused and delaying gratification. It will build your tolerance for discomfort and improve your ability to deal with challenges. The more practiced you are at working toward something when there’s no immediate reward for your efforts, the better you’ll be at managing your impulses. The more you practice delaying gratification—by setting goals and rewarding yourself only after you’ve accomplished them—the more your brain will adapt, making it easier for you to do it.
All and all, managing your impulses takes practice. It requires patience, awareness, discipline, and effort. Whether you want to get healthier, improve your marriage, save money, or curb a bad habit, you’ll do well to start getting intentional about impulse control.