Positive Speaking Habits to Build for Yourself
Did you know that our subconscious mind interprets what it hears very literally. Our mind and body will follow the direction our words lead. So if you want more influence, confidence, connection or opportunities to come your way, begin with what you’re projecting into the world each time you open your mouth.
The words we use holds a power so great. Power to fuel our confidence and ambition and power to make you feel anxious and inadequate. Power to make a strong first impression and power to be quickly forgotten. Power to create opportunities and power to shut them down.
If you use positive language about yourself and your ability to meet challenges and achieve your goals, then that is what will show up for you externally. Likewise, if you continually make declarations about yourself or your circumstances that echo hopelessness, incite fear, and nurture anxiety then those words will shape your reality, too. Here are a few things we can incorporate as we move through our everyday lives:
1. Avoid Absolutes: Instead of saying “No one around here ever listens to a word I say,” try “Some people don’t seem to listen to me, I wonder how I can speak in a way that makes others want to pay more attention”.
2. Don’t apologize for your opinion: Many people will sugarcoat their opinion with an apology or something else that minimizes conflict. You don’t have to apologize for having an opinion. Just express it respectfully.
3. Reframe Forward: Instead of expressing yourself in terms of what you cannot do, reframe your language in ways that express forward movement. Instead of words such as I can’t, use I can.
4. Hold yourself Powerfully: How you hold yourself physically—your facial expression, the space you take up—shapes how you feel emotionally and how the words come out of your mouth.
5. Limit the Labels: Labels create a subconscious mental boundary that confines you. Labeling yourself keeps you from being anything but that and only reinforces an undesired state. Just because you’ve been something for that time, doesn’t mean that it can’t be changed.
I challenge everyone to replace language that is negative, passive and imprecise with language that is positive, specific and declarative—the kind that puts you firmly in command, shifts your energy and, in doing so, makes you someone others want to listen to.